Month: April 2020

Isolation Diary: butterflies, bees, little birds, and me, enjoying the garden. Maybe 8 years ago, Maybe 10, I have a very poor sense of passing time, I asked myself, “Should I go on a longish cruise or transform my side yard into a garden?” I chose the garden. Tonight I heard from someone on TV…an expert?, a pundit?, a comedian?…that our ‘stay at home’ life might last through May. Whoa. That’s a long time. We are not in a holding pattern, we are in a temporary adaptive way of living. So structures must be made. What to do every day? To maintain mental, physical, and spiritual (if applicable) health. By the way, I think all payments, debts, and taxes, should be either forgiven for this time or held in abeyance for the duration of this shut it all down policy.

Isolation Diary: Beginning to create a routine. Well, not exactly. A few things I will do in a day but not necessarily in order or at a particular time. I will work in the garden. Or maybe just watch the butterflies. I will dance. Or really just move continuously for awhile. I will do tai chi, long form. And I will encounter in a positive, effective way at least one of the many projects that have been sitting on my back burner for never mind how long. Also, I resolve to reach out through FaceTime to my dearest friend every few days, for my mental health and for hers. Possible but not guaranteed productive time spent today: I worked on transferring photos of my theater company’s props to an inventory list. And…to challenge myself…I cleaned off my work table which had the detritus of a couple of months’ concerns and projects including my taxes. Clean now. Open. Empty. Inviting. What will fill this space?

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Noel B.
Routines are good

Isolation Diary: So after a day of following my ‘regimen’: garden work, dancing, tai chi, and projects–today those were refurbishing a rusted garden ornament (a frog that needed to be repainted), looking again at a children’s story, making decisions about a possible quilt; plus chatting with my brother and a friend, and after a delightful two hours with my family playing D&D, I told my family I have to go to the grocery store. Finally. A muted response. So i said I would look into ordering online. That was unsatisfactory. I texted that I needed to go myself. They are not having that. They are going to do the shopping for me. I am a bundle of emotions right now. I haven’t set foot off my property in over a week. Will my car even start? My daughters are concerned for me. But hasn’t it always been the other way? Me being concerned for them? Will I be able to have hummus for lunch? Maybe I can make it myself if there are canned beans on the shelf? Where is all the food? Why can’t I hug my little grandson?

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Mandi M.H.
RUTH. Stay home. Get groceries delivered ok? I know that you want to get out. But please? Stay home?

Ruth Silveira
ok.

Ruth Silveira
Although I’m crying right now.

Mandi M.H.
Ugh I wish I could hug you for real…

Ernie G.
Heart means I’m sending you Love. That’s all I can do. Well no there’s more! I’ll be going out for groceries tomorrow. Can I get you anything?

Ruth Silveira
My daughters seem to be on the case. Ernie! I am so happy to know you are well! I am virtually hugging you really tightly. I love you!

Shaela C.
Hang in there Ruth. It’s going to be bad. We are heading into the storm. Stay home. If you need, I can bring you some food. Let me know. I’ve decontaminated it – but you can always decontaminate it again (recommended).

Sabrina A.
Give us a wishlist and we’ll bring you things when we vacation in your yard!Ruth SilveiraAw, thanks. I have a grassy patch, a nice bench, a tiny stream, and paths for the young ‘uns to run around on.

Sabrina A.
Ruth Silveira but seriously, think about what you want, we might have it. No paper towels sorry to say.

Danielle O.
Please stay home. First, because they love you and don’t need this added fear. Second because the risk to your age group is so much higher. Please. I’m not letting my mom shop either. She thinks she’s healthy so she’ll be fine. I think it’s not worth the risk. It just isn’t.

DeAnne M.
I’m so sorry

Rafeal C.
This too, shall pass.

Maggie M.
You’re the most independent person i know and its deeply existentially disorienting not to be able to do a simple thing like going to the store. And no one likes being lectured or scolded. This is all so crazy. Im sorry its this way. I miss you so much. Home made hummus sounds yummy.

Jen D.
Oh Ruth, I get it mama. You know you can take a drive, if you can ignore the temptation to stop and go in anywhere.

Corey K.
Hugs.

Holly B.
What a rich full life you live; filled with love. I am learning new ways to live my life through reading your daily diary; you are an inspiration for me in times of stress. Love, Holly

Joyce H.
Hi Ruth, hold tight, the next few weeks are going to be rough. But, please stay put. No need to chance getting the virus. We need you well for all the fun we’ll have soon!

We were still not expecting what actually happened, how long we were isolated.

Susan J.
Well, I’ll add my voice here. As Maggie said, your independence is being challenged, which is so outside the norm for you. Add to that the fear, outrage, and frustration which is all-consuming. And, the icing on the cake: to be kept apart from baby hugs and snuggles is just unbearable. Reading the responses from your dear friends is heartening. You are loved and will be cared for-just as you care for others when you can. It’s just weird to be in that receiving position, but it’s based purely on science (the science of medical risk). This has nothing to do with who we are and what we’re capable of. I, for one, find strength in reading about the creative ways in which you fill your days in your lovely diary entries. Scream, cry, and punch a pillow every now and then. Ride the waves. No judgment, cause we’re all in the same rocky boat. Love to you, Ruth, and lots of virtual hugs.

Susan J.
And, not for nothing, I was met with be same muted response when I said I was going grocery shopping. AND my attempt at delivery also failed miserably. I’ve decided to order online and do a curbside pick-up next time we need food. Wish me luck!

Jeffrey W.
Ruth, wouldn’t you feel pretty stupid if you went shopping and then got the virus?

Ruth Silveira
Yes, I would. And I would probably feel worse if Jessie went shopping and got the virus! What to do? Now, most people survive. I know two who have. Would I? Would she?

And those questions hung in the air like cobwebs drifting down from the ceiling. We try to bat them away as we go through our days.

Isolation Diary: Out to the garden but routine interrupted by conversations with friends. Got to tai chi later but never did get to my dance interlude. Jessie (daughter #1) That is not an evaluation but merely a sequential fact) did a grocery shopping for me after I sent her a fairly long list. Apparently Dean, my son-in-law, had insisted that she intervene and stop me from going out. I saw her in person when she delivered the goods!! We talked face to face!! No touching. We disinfected everything. In other news: I have been getting robocalls from the RNC for some time. Why? I hardly ever answer my phone, only for family and friends, and professional calls I am expecting. This time I picked up and said a wary ‘hello?’ Long delay while the caller realized that one of his calls had been answered. “I am calling for Ruth Silveira?” “Speaking” “This is __ from the Republican National Committee, I would first like to thank you for your support of President Trump…” At which time I interrupted him to say that did not and would never support Trump, I don’t know how I got on your list, Trump is absolutely failing America and how can you support such a guy” and I hung up. Oh, I could have said so much more but my anger and contempt are so deep the conversation, if I allowed him to get a word in, would be so physically upsetting I didn’t want to continue. Even with that short outburst, I needed several minutes to calm down. Sure, a measured conversation might have done some good…..but …..if this person is making phone calls for Trump, how brainwashed must he be? What could I possibly say? Putting that aside, I had a fun D & D session. Although, once again, I got hurt. I am playing a character who I decided is a woman disguised as a man. And oddly my random dice throws seem to support this. I am not particularly good with my great sword against a strong foe, much better with my longbow. And my delight in playing with my family is great.

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Shaela C.
I’m so glad you have food and got to see your daughter.

Aaron F.
I prefer a bow too (I’m better with dex rolls than str rolls) but that 2d6 damage is SO MUCH better than the 1d8.

Maggie M.
Aaron F. totally

Maggie M.
Aaron F. had an npc use a crossbow for like – 5 damage!

Joyce H.
Nice RNC resist!!!

Susan J.
RNC. Blech. I think I would’ve been shaken, too, because my imagined rant would’ve taken too much out of me. How dare they?

Isolation Diary: And today a visit from Maggie, Adam, and Fig. I put on a mask so I could hold Fig. He was intrigued and his focus became experimenting on how to remove it. Mostly, we all hung out in the yard, at distance, and Fig crawled around on the grass, walked with the push toy, pulled flowers off their stems. What a lift to my spirits. Although Maggie says she will be in stress for 5 days while she waits for me to erupt in symptoms. Upon leaving she asked me if I was sanitizing my mail. No. I hadn’t even thought of that. The blueberries that Jessie brought me yesterday are from Chile. What’s going on in Chile?!! Should I cook these blueberries? My plan was to eat them for breakfast with yogurt. And I did. Danger Danger Danger! Or…How long have these blueberries been in transit? When were they last touched by a human? Was that human wearing gloves? And what does that matter if the gloves themselves are contaminated? I am at the edge of a rabbit hole. Is a better idea to just go out unmasked, bumping up against people, maybe visiting a nursing home and contracting this virus…..and surviving? If I do, of course

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Janet R.
No, Ruth, that’s not a good idea. Just keep on doing what you’re doing. I’ve been enjoying your blogs – thx Others agreed with Janet—I should just keep on isolating.

Isolation Diary: Another family visit today. Not my family. Natasha P.’s family and the added bonus of Matt Valle. They came to deliver some hummus (for which I am very grateful) and so Rocky, about 2 1/2 and utterly adorable, could run around in my back yard for awhile.

I drove my car for the first time in 3 weeks. Just to drop off some election focused postcards. Streets were so empty. Good for us!!!!
So here I am, as many of you are, with our intended projects either on hold or vanished. I have a number of back burner projects. I have pulled one forward. Why was it, and the others, on the back burner? For so long. Because of an obstacle, possibly real, possibly imagined. I pull it forward, but the obstacle is still there. Do I have any better tools to deal with this obstacle than i did before? Does ‘nothing better to do’ work? So easy to find something ‘else’ if not ‘better’ to do even under this currently restrictive situation .

Or should I put all that aside and sew a bunch of face masks? I downloaded patterns, I have a bunch of fabric. Or is that another sidestep? Ah, finally, bed time. I will consider all of this tomorrow. Perhaps. Here’s a thought I just had: the times that I made the most clothes for myself were the times I was most intensely engaged with others. It was part of the balancing, I suppose. So now, when engagement with others is sparse and I have ample time to make myself an entire new wardrobe…I am slow to do it. I have pulled out fabric, pulled out patterns. It all sits there. …….what an interesting time…..

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Natasha P.
it was so nice to see you even though we could not hug
I am glad you were able to help us keep that hummus from going to waste. Thanks for letting Rocky run around in your yard. He fed the dinosaur a couple leaves just to help out
be well and stay safe. We are just a phone call away if you need anything!!

Susan J.
I like your perspective on balancing time and what that means to productivity. Hm. You would think it would be just the opposite (more isolation, more time to do “you” stuff). Hm. Of course, a big factor here is the underlying hum of the reason for our isolation. For me, it makes it hard to concentrate. Happily, spring is just starting here in upstate NY and that’s always a joyful time for the soul.

Isolation Diary: This morning I stayed home because it was raining. This afternoon I was staying home because of a scheduled ADT technician appointment with a noon to 5 window. So I planned to sew myself some face masks. The ADT issue, however, was resolved by a phone call from ADT and 2 minutes before my keypad. Very efficient. Even though that window had evaporated, I stayed home to complete my task of making face masks. (So far, I’ve made two but only like one of them.) I had to stay home in the evening because I had to wash my hair. While waiting for it to dry, I cut up the kumquats I had harvested that afternoon, as I was home, and made a sort of marmalade. (Kumquats are the only citrus I know whose peel is sweeter than the pulp, which is Tart ) My hair was dry but now it was too late to go out so I squeezed the juice from the limes I had collected in the afternoon and froze it for use later. And now too late to go anywhere. So I stayed home the entire day! Wow, how often does that happen! Every day!

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Holly B.
What an innovative lady…..gives me all sorts of new ideas for (Holly’s post breaks off here.)

Susan J.
Sounds both restful and productive.

Isolation Diary: Why are we more cheerful on some days than on others? When circumstances remain pretty much the same. I would call today a good day. In the present circumstances. That means that I found things to do and that I had a chance to talk to an actual person, in person. My neighbor, two doors down, is Sage of SageLifestyle, and several years ago I embraced one of her offered scents as mine. (Scents, perfumes, are personal. I have found very few, very very few, that I, body and soul, react well to) I order from her website, she delivers personally. I was in the midst of my tai chi practice but my Ring Chime went off and I saw her through my living room window and interrupted my form and was able to catch her before she disappeared and I talked with her. Talked. We were 40 feet apart ( I don’t actually know what 40 feet looks like.) We shouted at each other. She’s ok, although standing in the rain as we talked. I’m ok. What else? I have made 4 face masks. I attach a photo of my favorite one. I won’t need it for the next 10 days because the advice is to STAY IN!!! This was the official guidance as covid numbers were rising. 10 days, we thought. I will not actually stay in the house, but I will not step off my property. Well, I do have to take the trash out and bring it back in. I will have to cross the sidewalk. I may have to put a foot on the street depending on what the trash trucks have done with my bins.

Sorry, I learned tonight that a friend of a friend of a friend has died from the virus. And that is as close as I want to get.
There is the possibility of survival, there is the possibility of death. How would I fare? I think I would survive. However i have not yet done what i want to do for my family. My immediate family and my extended family. So, I am staying in. Tomorrow I will be Zooming. With my improv group and my D&D group. English…….always making verbs out of nouns.

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Natasha P.
beautiful update and I love the masks

Lisamarie C.W.
You look fancy in that mask . I love your writing

Mars T.
Love you Miss Ruth

Joyce H.
Miss you! See you soon Ruth!!!

Rafeal C.
Nice masks.

Isolation Diary: I try not to think much about the absurd political situation as our president and his enablers cannot sink any lower in my estimation, their present position being the impossibly hot center of the earth, if we are using a physical example of ‘low’. So they are all condemned in my mind, utterly, so on to better things. This comment could have triggered by a number of things:
Trump considering bringing Michael Flynn back, skimping on covid aid to Medicare
providers, Jared Kushner proclaiming the covid policy a success as our numbers continued to rise. On April 11 reported Covid deaths in the US stood at 18,860, on April 24th the number was over 50,000.

Perhaps this strong recommendation by Dr Ferrer to STAY AT HOME this week and maybe next, has improved my mood, my attitude. Oh, here are the circumstances, no choice?, not even the grocery store? Ok, how can I make the best of it? I have enough food, even if I am eating dried apricots and Betty Crocker Vanilla Icing on day 14. (Those salty/sour lemon slices mentioned in another post will remain uneaten. I’d rather starve.)

Today my improv group met on Zoom in the a.m., my D&D group met on Zoom in the p.m., in between I was working outside in the garden. This contact with friends and family is so important. And also….I had an encounter with a passerby! Yes, a conversation in person. I was out in front picking up my newspaper (the printed version of news), (I sleep late) and an Asian man was passing, out for a walk. He is probably a neighbor, probably lives down the street. So often with such passing encounters lately, we wave, or acknowledge each other as people being ‘all in this together’. This man stopped and commented on the flowers in my front yard. He appreciated them. We chatted. In appreciation. Of the flowers and, I think, each other. The point about mentioning this person as an ‘Asian man’ is he is an older person, probably not born here, from a different initial cultural experience, English not his first language, but engaging with me in an appreciation of beauty. I hope I was at least a suggestion of an open door.

So my mood was good today. I can handle this. My list of 4 things; garden (if possible), dance, tai chi, work on some project at least a little, and the improv meet up can check that off the list. However……I have to say….i am a woman with a pair of binoculars on the coffee table in the living room. Around about 4:30 in the afternoon, you might find me doing the cha cha cha in the open strip that connects my living room and my dining room. Through my front window I can see across the street a person. What is he/she doing? Hanging around a car. Standing. Walking over to driver’s window. Back to sidewalk out of view. Sometimes opening up the trunk and putting something in or taking something out. Odd behavior. And then, riding away on a bicycle. So after several days of this I got my binoculars. Learned nothing. If I persist in this behavior, I hope I have the sense to mention it and someone will stop me.

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Emily K.
I love these little pieces of writing:) 

Nick U.
Is there a body in the trunk of the car?

Joyce H.
I love you and your daily’s! I think you may have a rear window scenario going on, I hope we get an update at 4:00! Ha, just playing….. have a fun day Ruth!!!!

Isolation Diary: early today because I am having internet connection issues and am at the moment connected through my personal hot-spot.
Last night I dreamed I was a big party, lots of room with happy people, a swimming pool. Suddenly I thought, “What am doing at a party/! And without a mask. No one is wearing a mask. What have I done? I’ve got to leave.” So I left the party. And the dream.
Having no internet connection is taking social distancing way to far.

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Kathi C.
I die a little every time my internet goes out. I’m looking at the rain and the pool which looks like it might overflow and wondering if I should go out and try to siphon some out into the canyon. It’s at a dangerous point right now so I guess I’m getting rain gear on and a getting a hose out.

Maggie M.
*too

Alisa T.
I think a lot of us are having Covid19 dreams – I’m almost nightly now.

Ruth Silveira
This was my first.