Month: April 2020

Isolation Diary: Working with the mistake of yesterday. Trying to fix it.

I have a new ‘tree’ that doesn’t work in its planned spot. Below is a photo of my mini personal poppy field and the spindly and dying orange tree (very hard to see) and a leafy ‘bush/tree’ in a black pot next to it. Sometimes you just have to acknowledge the wrongness of things. I recall two times both regarding paint colors. One as I visited the set of Dracula: A Musical Nightmare while the main backdrop was being painted. Stop! I said. That won’t do. (I could do that as I was Director (with Jessie M.)) Shocked the painter, had to apologize. I don’t recall if I had approved the color, didn’t matter, it had to change. Same thing happened when our bedroom was being painted…..Chose a color. Saw it on the wall. Wrong. So wrong. So just stop. And so it is with this bush/tree. Adjustments must be made. I am sewing a doll for Fig. Creating a face. An attempt. And adjustment. And another one. Sewing the head. An attempt. And an adjustment. And another to the face.

I found another place for the bush/tree but that required the shifting of heavy pots and the digging up of plants with odd bulbous roots. Volunteers, I don’t know why they are here. Random things begin to grow in the garden. Sometimes I let them grow. Sometimes a friend will say, “Oh, by the way, that plant is poisonous.” What?! Let us all bless our friends and the people who know things that we ourselves don’t know. And I could ramble on as my brain unwinds but I won’t……..fixing things, fixing things…..

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Jaime A.
What a paradise you have made for yourself! (Erroneous tree, notwithstanding.)

Joyce H.
Don’t feel bad about your little orange tree. I have been nursing a lemon tree I planted last year, didn’t do well because of overgrowing morning glories and dog traffic. I’ve redone my little corner garden area where this little lemon lives and she’s doing much better. I’m hoping this summer she’ll sprout some inches while getting healthier! Best wishes on with your garden, and your doll making!!!

Kathi C.
I always loved your garden. All the paths and the little deck you later built. It’s beautiful and peaceful and serene.

Alisa T.
Replanting in Cactus mix is nice for Citrus. They like it. And deep water occasionally with some organic fertilizer. Your garden is lovely!

Isolation was still our best preventative.

Isolation Diary: I took a walk today. I hadn’t stepped off my property in…well, I don’t know how long and time has become insubstantial. But, emotionally, a long time. I walked to Larchmont to pick up a pre-ordered pound of coffee beans from Peet’s. Everyone near or on Larchmont Blvd. was wearing a mask, as was I. Upon returning home I changed clothes and washed what I had been wearing. I am wondering…..how will I feel when businesses, offices, parks, theaters, begin to open up? Will I still hug people? Maybe after a vaccine. This might take a couple of years to sort itself out. Now I am so sad. Taking in this loss. Well, I was right about the couple of years.

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DeAnne M.
I get sad looking at people in masks spread far apart, too. The one nice thing is that I notice mutual waving to passersby when on walks, which is an improvement from the usual keep-to-yourself approach.

Lauren V.K.
Love you Ruth

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DeAnne yes, I find myself going out of my way to make eye contact, do a wave (I swear I’m smiling under this mask!) or say hello or nod to people

DeAnne M.
It helps.

Sabrina A.
DeAnne M. I find the mask wearing such a beautiful gesture of love for strangers, it fills my heart a little.

DeAnne M.
That’s a nice way to look at it

Sabrina A.
DeAnne M. it took my neighborhood a loooooong time to get it together. And the afternoon crowd is still awful, but I bless every unicorn for their efforts.

DeAnne M.
I met up with Jessica for a distanced walk last week (we were like 12 feet away from each other the whole time, in masks, etc). And she wanted to go through Hancock Park (the pretty homes). Anyway, on 4th street, it was like a bizarre thoroughfare of people going both ways, and most were in masks but there were quite a few joggers without masks breathing heavily as they flew past. I kept wanting to say “MASKS!!!” I kept picturing their viruses streaming behind them. But ugh. We moved to 5th street, and magically there were few people, so that was better.

Henrietta C.
I think many of us are moving through the five stages of grief — for losses we feel acutely but can hardly describe…

There was an earthquake. Big enough for me to get up and stand in a secure position.

Isolation Diary: an earthquake adds nicely to the anxiety level. I get it, we humans are only marginally in control. Nature, you got the advantage. What did I control today? Had agency over. Is that the current term? That mistake of two days ago? That mis-purchase of an orange tree? Fixed. I found a place for it, moved pots and soil, dug up invasive plants to make room. Done. And an improvement in the space chosen. I controlled computer entropy and got up and did my half hour of dancing and then, after a cool down, my tai chi, yang style long form. Yes! I changed the filter in my heater/AC system. NOT an easy task. It’s supposed to be, but because of a design flaw, it is not. The task requires a pair of heavy duty pliers and much shouting to the possibly attendant gods. But…done! Then I continued work on a doll I am making for Fig. Many adjustments, ripping out of stitching, stuffing, unstuffing, how can I make this work? Is this better? For at least one element I reached acceptance. This will do. Yes. Thanks, I’ll take it.

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Leon R.
You’re an amazing woman.

Isolation Diary: I had a good day. Improv friends on Zoom. Visit from Maggie, Adam, and Fig. Did my exercise and my tai chi. Because I had been challenged to, I wrote a rap ‘song’. And recorded it and sent it to the ‘No Joke’ podcast. Worked on a sewing project. Then I entered FaceBook. And the world came crashing in. Along with the wind. I am hoping that Biden’s campaign is keeping a list of the subversive and undermining and criminal and stupid and fraudulent and useless and elitist things that Trump and his administration have done, and also they have obtained a list of lies. Simply reciting these lists in TV ads might be an effective campaign tool. I try not to spend a lot of time thinking about the degradation of the administration of our country. I have accepted it as a fact and further proof is unnecessary. I am sure my anxiety level will rise as the year goes on and daily pursuits be even more important in helping to maintain a useful level of functionality. And let’s all try to get enough sleep.

Isolation Diary: How many weeks has it been? I read the paper, I watch a little news, less as the weeks pass, I read the comments on FaceBook. But most of my day, my days, is spent on my own little island. It is quite a nice island. My family inhabits other areas on this island and we meet up from time to time. Sometimes in person, sometimes electronically. (if the weather continues so hot will we experience outages?!) What this Isolation Diary has done is make me notice what happens each day. And what I notice today is that my vision, my attention is contracting. I am noting it here, so that, in the coming days, if I seem to be becoming more and more isolated, you would poke me a bit.

Isolation Diary: Hot. Swimming at Jessie and Dean’s. Whole family there. Fun. Joe Jordan posted pics of flowers. Grateful. Billy and Adam seem to have liked my rap offering to their No Joke podcast. Delighted. Finished an audible book in a series I love and started it again from chapter 1. Filling the time. Worked on doll project. Conditional satisfaction.

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Leon R.
You swam?

Ruth Silveira
Yes. I swam. Grandson Fig, almost 1 year old, was introduced to the pool for the first time. So many firsts to come!

Leon R.
Wonderful.

Jake L.
You killed that rap!

Susan J.
Totally agreeing with Jake!!!

Isolation Diary: closing down for a bit. Retreating to my island.

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Holly B.
Me, too!

Linda M.
Be well, dear friend!

Isolation Diary: Well retreat didn’t help. I just got sad. And felt sort of vague and fuzzy. Not in a good way. Except for times with my family. We visit each other. Is this against the rules? We are very careful. I have had only one hug in all this time and that was with Jessie after we had been swimming (not at Huntington Beach!) and were thoroughly chlorinated. I grew up in a family of non-huggers. I only learned to hug when I became acquainted with entertainment industry people. And, you know, is ‘entertainment’ the best adjective to identify this industry? It’s these important questions that come up when….there’s no one to talk to! Or hug.

Huntington Beach had been in the news because of the many there who refuse to wear a mask.

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Guy P.
I like show business more than the entertainment industry or, heaven forbid, the arts. I’m from non-hugging stock too. I still struggle with it. We are all reflecting more than usual. Hopefully we learn something useful from what we see. Normal seems a long way away.

Carolyn K.
I identify Ruth. My son and his wife came down to visit me last week and we broke ALL the rules and shared massive, missed, loving bear hugs. I always thought of the theatre people as the family I picked.

Christie M.
You can visit with your family if you stay 10 feet apart! Wear masks. Just assume everyone has it and be safe. Xox
We weren’t that strict.

Susan J.
She sent an air-hug.

Isolation Diary: To swab or not to swab? A negative one day could be a positive the next. Yet…if everyone in my family was negative one day, we could, on that day, gather, have a meal, play a game, and hug when we said good-bye. Or, I could rush to visit a negative friend! If I’m positive, I hunker down even more, until I’m negative. Another test. And how fast does one receive the results? Minutes? Days? In other musings: today, or rather yesterday, Wednesday, was Fig’s (my grandson) 1st birthday. I have to say, all the young and very young people I know give me great hope for our future. And here’s a big Thank You to their parents!

Results from Covid tests generally came within 24 to 28 hours, sometimes sooner.

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Shaela C.
I don’t mean to be a downer but I know multiple people who have been diagnosed with COVID and received negative tests. One family member received multiple negative tests and has all the symptoms (including being on day 8 with a fever). Fortunately, it appears she has a mild case. The tests aren’t reliable. The best thing to do when receiving a negative result is quarantine as if you have it and then meet up. That’s my (non-medical-professional) advice.

Corey K.
Yes, and the free drive-through testing being provided in L.A. where a self-swab is placed into a vial of liquid before being sent off to be tested is the least accurate test available, with a high false-negative rate. Get the test but please, please — and I hope that whatever literature you get with your result makes this clear – do not take a negative as a confirmed clean bill of health. But I wish you (and all of us) medically sound hugs in the near future
So much differing advice. Information changing weekly, if not daily.

Alisa T.
I hear you. I try to figure out ways to visit my parents and help out and the data and warnings keep me away. I’d happily swab. But my friends and family in the ER healthcare industry would say that testing is scarce, and not reliable, even when they know a patient is infected. So I keep my safe at home and hope for the best. I’m not good like you in terms of gaming and that sort of thing and I’m following you in terms of how you deal with the isolation. I have a partner and canine roommate for the challenge, but you’re doing some things I would never venture into.