Isolation Diary: The last. It’s been a year. My entry for this day in my handwritten diary begins ‘Everything is shutting down.’ Several weeks ago Julie C. challenged me to write about what I have learned this year. Not much, I think. Two things I know for sure, I really don’t like thought loops in my brain. And I am increasingly annoyed at myself when after I banish a loop it returns, sneaks back in, inhabits my mind once again. Second thing: I find I am equally good at putting things off when I am busy and when I am not. There was more going on in this year than the pandemic. The election, of course. That caused a lot of extra stress. And then the aftermath. Seeing a lot of people lose their minds, and a lot of politicians abandon their souls. I try to understand. I cannot. I want to understand, to figure it all out. And my brain goes into a loop which goes nowhere and which I must banish. I am pleased that I was consistent with my exercise and my tai chi this entire year, once the gym closed. I would not have survived as well without my family. I am okay with a lot of time to myself but only if that is balanced with time with others. My creative urges plummeted, apparently needing the stimulus of a variety of others. Diminished, let’s say, or narrowed. Still my small improv workshop met on Zoom and, of course, there was and is Dungeons and Dragons. With the family. We have had such fun with this. I am currently the Dungeon Master for our family group’s second campaign. I am learning as I go. And I am fine with spending hours and hours on preparation because this is for others to experience and enjoy. My work on progressing with the children’s story I wrote, finding an illustrator, maybe self-publishing, etc…..is stalled. Because……well, it’s new ground, for one, but also because the audience for the book is invisible. In the future. (Have I spent too many years in theater? Not too many, what am I saying?!) I wrote one short script during this year, something that could be shot on Zoom. I wrote it in response to a rather desperate plea from my theater company, not a plea to me personally!!, to the company. So, I wrote something. Which I rather like. And so do some others. My script was not used for the project in mind and so it sits…..somewhere. And every once in awhile I have a tickle of enthusiasm for actually filming it. But then I go out into the garden and do some weeding or plant beans. Or I scamper around with my little grandson. Or I work on the quilt I am making. Or I play a computer game. Or I read. And then there is the laundry. And is my roof leaking? There’s a rat in the house?! Taxes. On and on with mundane things. I am not a one person dynamo. Something I knew, something more clear than ever. What I look forward to….ohmygosh…when I wrote that phrase my heart welled up……..so many things. Among them the resumption of my tai chi class, the opening of The Plunge, Sacred Fools Summer Camp!!!, visits with friends, trips to museums, maybe, just maybe, probably a pipe dream, being in a play again. So that’s my last report. I know isolation hasn’t ended. I am the only one in my family who has been vaccinated. But my mindset is changing, I am carefully, cautiously, slowly, venturing out. This period, the last year, wasn’t so dire for me as for so very many. And I may have learned little. I could have…append a list of ‘could haves’ here (which I look at but at which I shrug and feel only a tiny twinge of guilt. So tiny). The saddest thing was seeing that so many people are not community oriented (oblique reference to senseless resistance to wearing a mask) and the happiest thing was hours and hours of delightful time spent with the family.
Janet R.
I’ve enjoyed reading your diary, Ruth, thank you.
Laura O.
The diary has been a gift to me. Thank you
Carolyn K.
You and your journey have been a gift to me Ruth. I laughed, puzzled, reflected and cried with you. I got to peak into your life and experiences. I’m grateful. I appreciate even more family and friends. As we slowly and cautiously open our doors, many of your words will remain with me. Sending love and appreciation.
Carol A.
Loved following you on your “isolation “ journey. Don’t stop now. We want to know what comes next!
Mandi M.H.
I’ve been so grateful to get to read these this past year. I relate to so much here and also I miss you. So looking forward to that drink at the Plunge.
Scott G.
I’m going to miss this when the pandemic is over.
Erik E.
These need to be a book. I, also, will miss these. You capture the ups and downs of the year perfectly.
Guy P.
I’ve enjoyed reading your isolation diaries. They have reminded me that this is, ironically, a shared experience.
Anna M.
Keep art up Ruth!
Anna M.
I tried to write keep it up, but Keep Art up is even better!
Bruce Y.
Wow, what a great expression of feelings. Wish i could be so good
Nancy W.
I’ll miss your diary, Ruth! Please let’s keep in touch. I’ll reach out to you instead of waiting to see what you’ve written.
Madeleine I.
I’ve so enjoyed your isolation diary. The honesty-the ups and downs. I applauded your wins and think you mostly embraced hopeful optimism. Thanks for sharing and for being you!!
Lisamarie C.W.
I love following your journey. I’m so inspired, you never missed a day. I’d love more. Thank You
Sandy R.
Will miss your diary too.
Karen I.L.
Thank you, Ruthie.